Boxed in anxiety of the unknown
is taking over this confused body.
Starting to ignore time
and its existence.
Just wish to breakout
of the mad ness of this mind.
 
Breathing is even,
chest could stop
or explode at anytime.
 
Attempting to clear it all
from the racing mind
to center my soul’s universe.
 
Sitting, bringing in the light,
centering on the positive
holding onto and appreciating.
The valleys can be worse.
 
Spirits have spoken
to stop the shaking.
The body being opened
to the whispers of the calm.
 
April 2, 2020
@Andrew Scott – Just A Maritime Boy 2020

Take my open, pleading hand.
Walk me through the pitch dark
of this unpredictable place.
 
A gentile, calm touch is needed
to calm by bodies nerves
from what it cannot see.
The blindness causes cold fear.
 
Feel so lost looking up for guidance.
Clouds have covered the guiding moon
and the bright traveling stars.
So alone out here.
 
The comfort of knowing what is next
has been taken away without care.
Each step brings anxiety.
Do not wish to move forward.
 
Take my open, afraid hand.
Walk me through the unforgiving dark.
 
January 12, 2020
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2020

I am losing my voice a lot
at the scenes being played
in front of us all.
They bring shock and disbelief.
 
A news article shows a twelve year old
laying, barely there, in a hospital bed.
Found hit on the side of a wintery street.
The driver of the missile car
was nowhere to be found.
The boy left with bruised, broken bones,
dried blood on a puffy face.
The coward driver drove away
and left the boy for dead.
The disgust took the voice away.
 
A man shot down by the boys in blue
after stabbing walkerbys
on the historic London Bridge.
The tortured man breaks
while wearing a fake explosive.
Taking innocent lives he hopes.
What pushes a man’s mind
to drive to such means.
The thoughts cloud a mind.
Words are lost in thinking.
 
A man takes his own life
after being released from a wellness check.
Kept in for less than an hour.
Friends called officials constantly
to check and help the young adult.
The powers that be kept releasing
until the life was taken away.
Why was the man released
and left to his own devices.
Head shaking, no words.
 
So much to be said.
The wrongs being spread
that can be changed
with just one voice.
The voice lost today.
 
November 29, 2019
© Andrew Scott – Just A Maritime Boy 2019

​Know sometimes it is hard to get out of bed.
easier to shield self from the day ahead
and stay away in the alone dark.
Difficult to see with eyes closed
that times are better ahead.
 
You walk around with no one understanding.
That is what your mind says.
Thoughts based on what you see
and feel about the outside world.
The tragic outweighs the good in your eys.
Hold on to the good you feel
so you see the better ahead.
 
The negative may overwhelm
your entire being at all moments,
giving thoughts to take it all away.
Before that final step is prepared
remember that is irreversable.
Grab on to the one thing
that lets you know it is better ahead.
 
Find a person who has walked
similar paths of troubles.
Those people are all around
to prop you mentally up
without wanting a return.
Share experiences of lonely thoughts
and turn to positive
one step at a time
until the sunrise ahead
is within reach
and the feel ahead is better.
 
November 25, 2019
© Andrew Scott – Just A Maritime Boy

​The leaves are changing colours.
The autumn air is turning crisp.
This time of year always brings a worry.
The days start getting sorter
and the nights a lot cooler.
 
During the summer it is easier.
A person like me can find anywhere to sleep,
under bridges, hideaway benches.
So many options for he resourceful.
 
Now with the fall surrounding me
there is fright of not enough
warm clothes for this season.
Trying not to think about a bed.
The nightly bed under the bridge
will not due in a few weeks.
 
There are shelters to go to
but those beds are filled so fast
if you do not get there at a perfect time.
So many fights out of frustration
when that happens.
 
It is the same anxiety each year.
A person would think I would
but used to the season changes.
I have survived but age quicker.
Do not even wish to think
about the first coming winter flake.
 
September 7, 2019
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2019
 
 

​The shiny crown is sitting tarnished
here in the beaten King's County.
It lay in tatters, swallowed up
by the greed of the land.
 
The stores are boarded up.
They used to give our downtown character.
Now they hold the design
of the local spray paint artists.
 
Once new field equipment now rusted.
The shine faded from non-use
from the crops fighting back from harvesting.
 
At one time it was all boom,
not one thought of a bust.
As the man of the home
promises were made
before the move here many years ago
to the flourishing King's County.
 
At the peak, King's County was over three thousand,
up from a few hundred housed on a dirt road
that you could not see from a passing highway.
 
The growth of the soil and mines
gave growth to the community.
New and old families showing love.
Saturday nights were social time,
adults chatting while children laughed.
Stress free smiles all around.
King's County was the envy.
 
The sparkling stars were to always last.
New laws made the mines
too expensive to keep them open.
One by one families were moved
out of the company owned housing
leaving weather to have its way
to the wearing structures.
Ghost community with eerie silence.
 
Cars with shocked families
started to leave by the hundreds
taking monies or lack of
for the stores with them.
More and ore disappeared each day
just like the sun at sunset.
 
The shops closed up gradually,
dresses were going unsold.
Long faces full of worry,
did not want to feel Saturday night festive.
The community spirit was frayed.
Tempers amongst friends started to show
from the stress of not knowing.
 
The quiet, humming county
started opening the doors to theft
in the middle of the dark night.
Fingers pointing to every person
that had envelopes of debt.
 
The farmlands became overgrown
when the markets stated to shut doors
with no one else to buy the overflowing food.
The rotten smells filled the air.
Fields were strangling themselves,
thin animals had nowhere to be sent.
The golden egg was gone.
 
Homes became a falling grey,
front and backyards
were a junk graveyard.
Spirits buried in the broken machines.
Tears adding to the spreading rust.
 
Pride and growth used
to keep it all together
from top to bottom.
The glory years gone
with the history leaving
on the broken road of King's County.
 
November 4, 2019
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2019
 
 
 

She sits on her front porch
looking up and down
the quiet, lit street.
Edna has been sitting
there for three days,
morning, noon and night.
Her son left a few days ago
and she fears that
he may succumb to old addiction.
Edna has seen this dance before
and knows that some time
he may not return from his stimulation.
In Edna's mind that is not today.
Her unwavering faith repeats this.
 
Gerald paces around his kitchen
before sitting back down
to face his computer screen
waiting for messages to come in.
He has not worked in seven month.
Not since his place of employment
unexpectantly shut its doors.
Leaving bills that have been piling
and two other mouths to feed.
The stress has been all through
the shaky foundation of the home.
Some days Gerald feels
that he has failed everyone
however the search for work is daily.
The message of a job will come.
That is his unwavering faith each day.
 
Gloria and Sam silently staring
off into the sky through a window.
They have not spoken affectionately
for an extended period of time.
Been married for nineteen years,
willing their way to twenty.
There was one love and romance.
Neither of them know when the breakdown
happened between them.
They both play those days of support
in the memories of their mind.
Gloria and Sam do hope for the day
handholding does come back.
To them that could be any day.
Their dance of unwavering faith say that.
 
October 27, 2019
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2019

​Every Saturday morning starts the same
whether it is rain, snow or shine.
The truck gets loaded for the two hours drive
to the Saturday morning market.
 
The truck is full of fresh meats from slaughter
and cleaned vegetables from the fields.
Never know how much to bring for sale.
You think I would after taking
the same Saturday morning trip for twenty-eight years
but some mornings it is all about
buying meat or vegetables or both.
I do bring a lot of eggs too.
They sell no matter what.
 
The crowds do not start coming in
until about after eight in the morning.
Gives us all time to set up our goods
for sale for them.
We all try to make our selling stands
to look as appealing as we can
to make sure people stop by.
 
Some o the merchants at this market
have a lot of conversations with people
however do not seem to ever sell a lot.
Maybe they come here to get out of their house.
Some of the selling stands are too far away
to ask unlike the folks around me.
We chat all the time every weekend.
Makes the quiet time go by faster.
 
My regulars keep me busy.
The fine folks that make the same stops
every Saturday morning, market stand by stand.
Those people keep a lot of us coming back.
Good to see the same smiling faces.
Sometimes when you are talking
you do not realize how much you have sold.
Truly never know until I pack
the rusted truck to go back home.
Today was a good day it seems.
Only a few vegetable packs are left.
The cuts of meat and dozens of eggs are all gone.
 
I do not do it for the money,
have not needed that for a long time,
saved during the boom years.
The interaction and smiling faces.
That is what will bring me back
next and every Saturday after that.
 
April 9, 2019
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2019

​A couple laughing into the evening air.
Glasses of wine being refilled
as the chatter grows on their front deck.
Holding hands touching, flirting.
Nights like this were not always there,
years of silence and anger
built up over time.
From every day real world trials,
stress of money, days of non-affection,
periods of stepping out for both of them.
Worlds slowly crashing in a hole,
harsh words came out of frustration,
screaming until real truth opened
their hearts to each other again.
The path of their healing, a hard conversation.
 
A father and son cleaning their spring yard.
The mess spread over from a harsh winter.
They are taking about future plans
after the boy has one more high school year
however the years of booze and drugs
that started in middle school
has him fall behind before he quit.
The father paced in silence many nights
when the son disappeared under influences
until one night after many, the son came home
and the father had to take him to the hospital
after one drink and one pill too many.
From a scared patient's bed
the father, tears and fear started talking
and the son, wanting to live, listened.
Their path of healing, a hard conversation.
 
A man sitting around a bonfire,
laughing and sharing with life long friends,
a moment that would not have taken place
four short months prior to this.
He was hidden away in his home,
shutting the door on the outside world,
depression consuming his thoughts,
never dealing, feeling the loss
of a loved one before.
Friends busted down a locked door
with determination to find their lost friend.
Hours of crying uncontrolled emotion
to bring them all back.
His path of healing, a hard conversation.
 
So many not knowing
that reaching out is needed
while onlookers stay mute.
The hardest part are the first few words,
first steps are the most difficult.
People's path of healing, the hard conversation.
 
August 29, 2019
© Andrew Scott - Just A Maritime Boy 2019

​Exhale of smoke while staring at the night,
stars are shining, air is cooler these days,
words and pictures sliding across my mind,
silent questions bring no true answers.
 
The images of what is happening
around my once quiet city.
One man lay dead over a fight
over drugs taken from another.
Police do not find him right away
as they are busy taking firearms
away from a family dispute of three.
Traces of substance have littered
the streets like never before
however I hold onto the hope
clear minds will once again live.
In this hope I believe.
 
The once great land
held its arms out, accepting others
who traveled here to start peacefully.
Newcomers who left destructive soil
to only be greeted by ignorance
of the ones who turn away
from the disappearance of women
and teenagers who were indigenous
to this open, native land.
The blind eyes leaving scars
on the heartbeat of this once great nation.
We will find what makes us unique.
In this hope I believe.
 
Sometimes I am just waiting
for pains to go away from remembering.
When the mind goes, the heart follows.
the tears just appear in my eyes
realizing how much I still miss
from my mom passing.
A portion of me gone too.
Healing from this loss may never happen.
I miss her.
Silence all around when it hits me,
holding onto loss will make me better.
In this hope I believe.
 
The night sky I am staring at
keeps the mind's eye clear.
The breeze may carry whispers
to grip hold of the positive light.
In this hope, I believe.
 
August 26, 2019
© Andrew Scott - 2019