She is my vision of a spirit beautiful
while I am a burnt, scarred beast.
 
To this day, I do not see what she sees.
I am an ugly skinned man,
half-full of angry rage.
I hid my physical being from all.
She sees past that somehow.
With her tender look towards me
I become calm, quiet.
 
My beautiful wishes to see all of me,
no hiding my scarred face, body
behind a hoodie, covering bandanna.
She reveals me from under the disguise.
 
In her hands, my scars significantly tingle.
She gives a soft, reassuring smile
that makes the heart healed.
 
We are two in a sharing waltz
that only has the two of us.
 
To me, I am a horrific beast.
To her, I am a gentile beast.
 
October 6, 2024
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024
 
 

​Monster
 
Know there is a monster under the bed
who wants to take me whole
It is messing with my head
 
body tingles with dread
paranoid sleep is taking its toll
Know there is a monster under the bed
 
why does he not leave instead?
is it a way to control?
It is messing with my head
 
trembling, filled with dread
I feel the darkness troll
Know there is a monster under the bed
 
Its mission under there is unsaid
having my body afraid must be the goal
It is messing with my head
 
the evil I feel spread
fear it is trying to swallow my soul
Know there is a monster under the bed
It is messing with my head
 
July 19, 2024
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

​Tired of Smiling
 
Generally, I walk through this world
with an appreciative smile.
Happy to be breathing in the earth’s air.
As of late, this has become harder
as I watch and see what is going on
in this world all around me.
 
Read in our local news
a local synagogue had their windows broken
in the show of the night
by a hidden, cowardly person.
Leaving holes in this sacred place
that means so much too many
who visit for their faith.
How can they feel safe now?
 
Walking around our city in the cold season,
seeing ones who do not have a home,
without those heated walls and beds.
Every winter season there seems to be more
living outside finding places to stay warm.
Hoping for doses of hot food.
How do they have the spirit to stay alive?
 
Hearing stories of an overcrowded hospital
with understaffed caregivers.
Precious patients lining the hallways,
laying in delicate conditions,
Feeling alone and scared,
taking longer to heal.
How are they to feel cared for?
 
The weight of all I am seeing
is resting squarely on me
causing changes in my emotions.
The calm demeanour is shifting
and it is showing on my face.
Tired of faking and smiling.
 
February 8, 2024
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024
 
 

Annie drops the children
off to school and takes a breath.
Another morning full of hustle
to get everything off scheduled.
Hiding her emotions from the kids.
With every step, Annie’s worried.
 
Annie keeps her smiles
for friends to see on book night.
Not saying a lot as she cannot focus
on the words of each page.
Faking laughs and enthusiasm.
She is hiding, Annie’s worried.
 
Anytime the parents or in-laws visit,
Annie plays the perfect host,
chatting away over coffee or tea.
Making sure visits are perfect.
Annie’s worried.
 
The sun goes down.
With a glass of wine, Annie thinks,
mind full of never-ending thoughts
that cannot be shared.
Uncertain who would understand.
Annie’s worried.
 
Annie thinks of her partner in crime,
who is away as a peacekeeper
for another four to five months.
It is supposed to be safe
however, she feels the stress
in his voice when he calls.
 
The news is only showing disaster
in those parts of the world.
Annie sees it all and waits
for the day he comes home safely.
 
Annie is strong and holding the emotions at bay.
Annie’s worried.
 
February 16, 2024
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

Abigail
 
Abigail stares out the window,
focusing on the night, crescent moon
while talking in her own mind.
 
So many emotions running through her.
Quiet tears are filling Abigail’s eyes,
thinking of the unknown next turn.
 
Abigail feels like she is starting over again.
The losses have been constantly coming.
Inside, she does not want to fully break.
 
She knows rebuilding will take strength.
Abigail has been here before
and knows the steps to be taken.
 
Abigail feels she is different, stronger
than even the day before today.
Reminds herself that old ways or methods
can be spiritually damaging.
 
Tonight, Abigail wants a break from it all.
A mix of wine and thoughts.
Staring at the bright, crescent moon.
Tomorrow the build begins.
 
December 4, 2023
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2023
 
 
 
​

​Frothing Hyenas
 
Beware of the frothing hyenas.
The ones waiting in the weeds,
quiet, unsuspecting, and watching.
 
They are looking to scavenge
from the meat of the
temporarily weakened.
 
Those of us that are saddened
or having non-focused moments
are prime for the hiding animals.
 
We do not hear their sinister laughter
as they prepare to pounce.
Steal the will from you.
 
Even at our most frail
and our skin, soul is open,
keep what you can alert.
Beware of the frothing hyenas.
 
October 7, 2023
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2023
 

​By you, it is written.
The eroded path you are on,
the dark destiny that awaits you.
A Story created by your own hand.
 
You will play the hurt victim
however your dishonest actions
are planned from start to finish.
Deliberately causing pain to others
the end destiny for you,
it is written.
 
I have personally felt
your chameleon like ways
when you took me
and shattered my heart,
kicked away my feelings
without blinking an eye.
 
Your torment will not
be seen coming from the skies.
Everything will be lost
due to your own doing.
You will only know
when you are alone.
It is written.
 
September 8, 2023
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2023

​The Demon Inside (Villanelle)
 
We see the person you hide
the secret under your true skin
The fiery demon inside
 
the smile is where you lied
an insincere grin
We see the person you hide.
 
angelic eyed
gateways to the underneath sin
The fiery demon inside
 
presenting the delicate side
there is fire within
We see the person you hide
 
respect for others is set aside
makes your thoughts thin
The fiery demon inside
 
the true you can be a blindside
seeping though the skin
We see the person you hide
The fiery demon inside
 
May 5, 2023
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2023

​The Gatekeeper
 
The Gatekeeper’s giggle
echoes in my head
as my mind awakes
in my terrified bed.
 
Hardly remember my dreams.
Tonight is the exception.
Playing over and over again
through my tired eyes.
 
The Gatekeeper opened the entrance
to let my lucid mind in.
Smiling while closing the gates,
trapping me inside.
 
I walk down a red, dirt tunnel.
In the end, there is a firelight.
An older lady with a hidden face
offers a clear glass of liquid
That I take and drink.
It is thick and bitter.
My body reacts like it is a cleanser.
As I cannot stop drinking,
feel light as I leave the room.
 
Next place is so dark,
all I hear is water flowing.
I cannot see it
so a fear is rising in me.
Not knowing where it is.
One step and I could go under.
As soon as a toe hits the waters
I turn and run.
 
End up in a grey, snowy area.
A black and white bench
inviting me to sit.
An arm wraps around my shoulder.
One that I feel but cannot see.
Whispering words of comfort
and guidance to my ear.
I turn my head in hopes
that I can see who it is.
I cannot see the face
but the voice I know.
 
The leads to my waking,
drenched in my own sweat,
more tired than before.
Sleep will not be brought back.
All the mind hears repeatedly
is the Gatekeeper’s giggle.
 
March 2, 2023
©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2023